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7 Ways to Build Self Control and Enjoy the Holidays More

Uncategorized Dec 04, 2020

Many people turn to things like porn when they aren't managing their emotions.

And the holidays, for many of us, give people plenty of opportunities to either manage or not manage their emotions.

Not because the holidays cause feelings. Not because our family members have the power to cause feelings in us.

Because feelings are caused by thoughts. Our own thoughts.

And because many of us have all sorts of thoughts about holidays.

Some of them are helpful thoughts. Others not so much. But all of them are human thoughts.

Holidays used to be very triggering for me.

There were a few years of anniversaries and valentine's days where I just didn't do anything.

The expectations, that I thought came from other people but ultimately came from my own mind. I thought they were too much for me to handle.

And Christmas time? Trying to get through all that, keeping everybody happy and enjoying myself? Forget it. It felt impossible.

 

I would often look at porn during these times, or in anticipation of these times. Or immediately after "getting through" these times.

And guess what, I'm not the only one.

 

Power Through OR New Way?

So instead of powering through the holidays in the same way we have in the past, here are some ideas for approaching things in a new way that is more enjoyable and helps you to build on your skills of self-control.

We discuss these things more in depth in our podcast today, with a real client example. (Podcast Episode #50: Feeling Triggered During the Holidays. Name of podcast "Latter-day Saints Dealing With Pornography in Marriage)

7 Ways to Build Self Control and Enjoy the Holidays More:

  1. Give yourself permission to not want to do certain things with your family.
  2. Drop the judgment toward yourself
  3. Take moments to recharge when you need them.
  4. Give people permission to not change at all.
  5. Be willing to let discomfort be part of the holidays.
  6. Own responsibility for your own thoughts/feelings and let others own theirs.
  7. Do Thought Work/coaching/self-coaching.

This month is the perfect opportunity to work on these things.


How good would your real life experience need to be for porn to become irrelevant?

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