Meet Jordan Derbidge, a medical student who felt trapped by feelings of helplessness and self-loathing. 

His struggle was affecting every aspect of his life, and he thought change would only come after he overcame his biggest hurdle: quitting pornography.

Here’s what Jordan shared about his journey:

What was your absolute biggest challenge prior to the coaching?

“I struggled a lot with feelings of helplessness and self-loathing. I let it affect most aspects of my life.”

What was different about this coaching experience compared to other things you’ve tried?

“Danny helped me focus on the things that really mattered: my mind. 

I was able to make changes I assumed would only be possible after I quit pornography.

The moment I realized this process was actually working to address my problem: I remember going to church and looking back at my week, a normal habit of mine. 

For the first time in years, I was proud of myself. It brought me to...

Don’t let what happened to my friend’s colleague happen to you or someone you care about.

My friend, who is an ophthalmologist, is involved in bettering the way residents and fellows in training are treated.

He asked for my input to help him prepare a presentation he is giving to the board.

He sees the need for a change with the overall burnout culture in medicine. (I’ll add dentistry in there as well because of my background)

He had a colleague commit suicide. So this issue is very personal to him (as it is to me).

I don't think I would be here today if I didn't ask for help and receive the help I needed when my PTSD was in full force.

Doctors need to hear these 2 questions more, whether it’s from:

• -colleague to colleague
• -trainer to trainee
• -teacher to student
• -really ANYONE to the doctor

2 Questions Doctors Need to Hear More Often from someone who cares.

1. Is something going on?
2. Are you okay?

These are 2 questions that my friend tries to...

You’ve probably heard the saying: “People buy from someone they know, like, and trust.” 

It’s true in business—and when it comes to goals and personal transformation, it’s also true for your brain.

If you want to create lasting change—whether it’s breaking an unwanted habit, reducing stress, or building stronger relationships—you need to sell your brain on your desired results.

Here’s the catch: your brain resists change. It clings to what’s familiar, even if it isn’t serving you.

This is part of your brain's wiring for survival.

That’s why your goals might feel just out of reach—they’re still “strangers” to your brain.

Your brain is also wired to accommodate learning and transformation. That's why working WITH your brain skillfully matters.

Believe me: all of the biggest obstacles between you and your goals start in your brain.

So how do you help...

I met with a client who had this fearful thought pop up,

“I’m someone who is irreparably broken.”

(read to the bottom for 3 Key Questions to ask yourself today)

First of all, I’ve had this thought too along the way. Have you?

My client was feeling weighed down and heavy, and was finding it hard to move forward with next steps in his life today, and with goals he is working on.

Me: Why don’t you lean in on that thought 100% and believe it as the “truth” from here on out?

Client: It feels like hanging out with a bad friend.

Me: So you don’t want to have him around more throughout the day? You’re not excited to schedule that next time to hang out with him?

Client: No.

Me: Why not?

Client: Because there’s part of me that believes I’m someone who is learning and growing.

Me: So part of you already doesn’t believe this idea that you’re broken?

Client: Right.

Me: Who are you without this...

Who’s the Most Important Person in the Operating Room?

Discover how a simple yet profound piece of advice transformed both a medical career and personal life.

Learn the importance of having access to key lessons/strategies and emotional intelligence in navigating life's toughest challenges.

For results like Bryan’s, click here for free consult.

Click to listen to interview with Bryan who uses Life Coaching vehicle to go from:

exhausted, worn out, depressed

to

Empowered, feelings-literate, kinder to self, more positive home-life/relationships, looking forward to things more, healing his mind

He says he looks forward to coaching calls, gains more energy and efficiency in life by taking time to do it, and says

"Coaching on the mindset around dread/procrastination of doing patient charts affected 5 other areas of my life that week too."

Tune in to get inspired by what Bryan created for himself.

He tells me 3 things today that help him when he has an urge to view porn.

He also has no problem staying away from porn easily now.

Note: He used to feel out of control at times with how he was giving in to urges.

He says he has way less urges (to view porn) now than he did last year.

And when he does have an urge, these 3 things help him:

1. -practice allowing and processing the urge (a skill my clients learn)
2. -remind myself “The urge won’t last forever.” “They all pass. It passes when it passes.”
3. -remind myself “I’m not going to die if I don’t have an orgasm.” 

For those of you with an unwanted habit, what helps you with urges for porn (or something else)?

It’s important to have a practice that doesn’t only fight/avoid/distract from the urge.

Have a practice that also:

1. -rewires your brain around urges, 
2. -trains your brain to have less of them, 
3. -and changes your...

Like for real?

Not just with your words.

Not just repeated in Sunday School.

But In practice?

In actuality.

Do you apply your belief?

In my experience, a lot of people who come to work with me are not very good at fully experiencing agency.

Did you know there is an area of your brain where agency is experienced? Where it is available?

Also, did you know that the stories you tell in your brain can affect how much of that agency you experience?

It’s like you’re told agency is there.

But there’s something obscuring it.

And guess who the only person who can access it is - YOU.

How do you make the change and start experiencing more agency?

• Practice a new story.
• Repeat it until things start consistently changing.
• And yes, they can and will change if you keep noticing and practicing.

Here is some optional homework (because all homework is optional) I gave someone recently. I want to share it with you too. 

Optional...

Narcissists will often have a pattern of saying one thing and doing another.

This discrepancy can leave their partners confused, doubting their own perceptions, and emotionally destabilized.

When dealing with a narcissist, pay more attention to their actions than to their words.

It is essential for protecting yourself and making informed decisions about your well-being and healing.

Narcissists are usually good at using words to manipulate and to create a favorable image of themselves.

Their words may have both truths and non-truths, which can be very confusing if you’re around them regularly.

They may say what they know others want to hear in that moment.

But their actions are where their true intentions will be revealed.

10 Examples of Narcissists Saying One Thing but Acting Differently

1. Professing Love While Acting Neglectful:

   -Words: "I love you more than anything."

   -Actions: They consistently disregard your needs, fail to...

Talking to Your Kids About Porn: A Real-World Guide for Parents

by Danny Poelman DDS, Life Coach

Quick Take

Hey there, awesome parent! Let’s face it—talking to your kids about pornography can feel like walking a tightrope. But guess what? You’re already doing an amazing job just by being here and wanting to have this conversation. This guide is all about keeping things real, supportive, and shame-free, so you can help your kids navigate this tricky topic with confidence and self-love.

Why This Matters

In today’s world, kids are exposed to all kinds of content online—some of it good, some of it not so much. Pornography is one of those things that can pop up, and it’s important to talk about it openly. This isn’t about giving a big scary lecture; it’s about having a heart-to-heart that leaves your child feeling empowered, not freaked out.

Start with Love, Not Fear

What’s the Big Idea? When talking to your kids about porn,...