How Guilt is Affecting You and Why Feel Less of It
Feelings (emotions) drive your actions more than you know.
Guilt is a feeling.
In our brains, guilt does not come from the action of looking at porn.
It actually works like this
First: you look at porn.
Second: you have a thought like "I did something wrong".
Third: you feel guilty
Assumptions About Guilt
Some people believe they are "supposed to" feel guilty if they look at porn. I used to be one of them.
I used to be worried that if I don't feel guilty about looking at porn, then it will become a free-for-all and I'll go on a porn-spree, binging and throwing caution to the wind.
This simply is not true.
I used to believe that it will go over better with my wife if I feel guilty in our conversations about it.
Even if this is true in some relationships (some partners look for this/expect it), it doesn't mean it is helpful in attaining your goals.
I thought feeling guilty for not keeping commitments to myself would help.
While the pain of guilt helped me want a change, it didn't help me make that change.
What actually gets us to our goals of a porn-free life?
Although guilt may have it's usefulness. When you practice guilt so habitually that it becomes part of your identity, it inevitably affects your actions.
You will actually begin to find ways to get in to trouble.
Your brain will unconsciously assist you in creating/finding evidence that you are meant to feel guilty.
Feeling guilty can actually lead you to look at porn.
This is probably backwards from how a lot of you have looked at it.
You actually be more addicted to guilt than you ever were to porn.
Packing Too Much
Packing too much guilt along with you is like packing too many supplies on a backpacking trip.
You think it will help. But it ends up being extra weight for things that won't actually help you.
It slows your progress. It might even prevent you from making it to the top of the mountain.
And it makes the trip much less enjoyable.
Check your backpack and make sure you are only packing things that help and enhance your backpacking experience.
What if you could feel less guilt?
What percentage of the time do you currently feel guilt in your life?
What if you could cut the amount of guilt you feel in half? And the amount of porn you look at in half?
If you want to make your real life better than porn, more guilt is not the answer.
If less guilt and less porn is what you want, let's talk.
I'll show you how.
