I Don't Like Being Told Not to Talk About It
Disclosing my trauma: you know what I hated being told?
“Don’t talk about it.” “You’re being too sensitive.” “You’re overreacting.” “That doesn’t sound like as big a deal as you’re making it.”
Or the most heart-breaking one from a family member. “Don’t contact me anymore.” In other words, “if you’re going to talk about the abusive things this person did to you, I’m going to stop talking to you, but continue being around him (abuser).”
Almost felt like I was being blamed for the conflict that arose from this persons actions, just because I was talking about it.
It came to a point where I knew, even if I lost everyone important to me, I had to believe me. I had to make room for me to talk about it. I would not have survived it if I didn’t.
When I rejected my real experience, my body spoke up and my health suffered. When I believed and received myself, my body healed. From shaky hands to non-shaky hands. From sleepless nights to sleeping through the night. From terrible, puts you on the floor heartburn and lasts an hour, to no heartburn. From crippling anxiety to, functioning with way less anxiety. The list goes on.
I’m done boxing myself in on what I can talk about in my business.
It’s time to expand. In the name of more love and more healing for more people.
If you have something to talk about that people told you not to,
I’ve got room for you. For your story. For your trauma. In 6years+ as a life coach, there are topics I know come up for people.
Get ready. More to come.
(Click this link to follow me on Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/dannypoelmancoaching/)
So I'm going to talk about:
1. MY STORY (C-PTSD)
I’ve decided I’m going to share more of my personal story in the way I reach out in my business (including trauma, my experience with C-PTSD, the setbacks, the progress, the healing, the successes, the struggles that remain.
This helps me so much when others do this.
And my hope is that it will help you as I do this more.
2. UNWANTED HABITS
This has been the focus of my messaging for years, helping guys quit their unwanted porn habits (or other habits).
Although, we end up coaching on all of these things I’m mentioning today along the way.
I will continue to talk about habit change and help people who want help with this.
Also, I’m opening the gates to talk about other very important things, to help more people in more ways.
I realized I’ve been telling myself not to talk about it. But, like I said, I don’t like being told not to talk about it.
3. RELATIONAL AND RELIGIOUS TRAUMA
There are narcissists in this world. And Narcissistic abuse does happen.
It has real effects on real people. It happens in relationships and also in religious settings (despite good intentions).
It is real. My experience with it is real. And, if you have experienced it as well, your experience is real.
Can’t do anything about it if we don’t acknowledge and address it.
4. EXCESSIVE PEOPLE-PLEASING
For some, excessive people-pleasing is just a habit. For others there is underlying trauma driving the people pleasing and the lack of setting or holding personal boundaries.
Let’s dig in, become aware, do some healing, get intentional, and give ourselves grace as we practice and learn a new way.
A way that doesn’t leave you harmed, worse-off, drained, or burnt out in your relationships.
Clear, strongly-held boundaries. Guilt-free self-care.
Healthy relationships where both people get to be okay in the way decisions are made.
5. ANXIETY/DEPRESSION
As a trauma-survivor, and someone still navigating C-PTSD, I have plenty of experience with anxiety and depression.
And if you do too, I want to use my personal experiences/learning/know-how and also my experience as a life coach all these years to help you.
Things can improve, when you are ready for them to. There are ways to move through it and improve the quality of your day to day life.
You don’t have to be alone in this.
6. PATRIARCHY
Can you believe I said that word?! Growing up in a conservative religion, I got a heavy (magnified) dose of patriarchy.
We need more men talking about this. I want it to be clear that I am one of those men.
I’ve seen how patriarchy affects men negatively as well.
There is healing available to all of us in this conversation.
The world is out of balance, and it starts with learned patterns in our brains. Let’s use awareness to keep making things better for all of us.
Don’t do the women (or non-hetero-normative males) in your life a disservice by ignoring or scoffing at this word: “Patriarchy.”
The effects are real. The pain is real. The imbalanced patterns are real.
7. MONEY
Let’s have a space where we can talk about money. Worries, concerns, limiting beliefs, insecurities, scarcity, debt, you name it.
Let’s expand our way past our limiting beliefs.
Let’s tap in to our power to generate wealth, or to create the experience with money that you want.
Freedom. Worthiness. Safety. Trust. Supported. Powerful.
We’re going to talk about money mindset, some science-based, and some spiritual-manifesting principles (because I LOVE this stuff).
8. THE FACT THAT I AM AN ALLY (LGBTQ+)
I grew up in a system filled with prejudice toward the LGBTQ+ community.
I was a part of it until I realized the errors of the ways I’d been taught.
I’m sorry for the ways I participated.
I’m proud of myself for becoming aware and being willing to change.
When is LOVE ever a bad answer!
I have room for you who identify as LGBTQ+. I stand by you. I will listen to your story. I hear you.
I’m sorry for the prejudice you have experienced.
I choose to be a part of creating communities where it is safe for people who identify as LGBTQ+ to be a part of it. I love my LGBTQ+ clients.
I have space for you.
Want to talk about these things with me? I hope you come along.
I plan to do more posts on Instagram than I have in the past, addressing all of these topics and more. Click here to follow me on Instagram.
