Careful, you might have a bit of a brain-gasm with this one. (I heard that term recently, it made me laugh).
When thinking about your goal to stop looking at porn, do you find yourself thinking:
"This might not be possible."
I've thought it at so many points along the way.
I'm guessing you've practiced this one a lot yourself.
So I tell guys it's possible and even show them testimonials of how this process works. Then they say:
"That works for other people, but not for me."
I hear this one from almost every guy that comes to me for help. Does that tell you something?
Did you think you were the only one that things didn't work for? I don't know if you'll be disappointed or relieved to hear this, but you're not.
Because there are loads of people walking around saying the exact same thing to themselves.
I used to be one of them.
What I didn't know at first is that this kind of belief is optional.
The only upside I can think of is that it allows your lower brain to get continued access to the concentrated dopamine from porn.
But that's not even an upside because the reason you're here is that you don't want to continue the way things have been.
You don't want porn to continually be a part of your life. Been there. Done that.
You want something different. Something new. Agreed?
Okay, so if you want something new, sticking with your same mode of thinking will not get you there.
"This might not be possible" will not work.
"That works for other people, but not for me" will not get you there.
Think about it. If it's not possible, why even try?! Why do a da#* thing about it?
If nothing works for you, why try anything? It won't work anyway.
Rinse. Repeat. More of the same.
I believe there are lots of ways out there that can work for people.
I offer one of those ways.
But even if you find a way that works, if you believe it won't work for you, you will prove yourself right. And more likely, you probably won't even go and try and do that way that works.
So what! See how good your brain is at finding evidence?
With any of those things you tried, did you ever actively decide to think:
"This is possible."
"I will keep going until I find what works for me. And I'm not stopping till I get there."
Did you practice these thoughts enough times for them to become beliefs?
There is no downside to believing these things. If you can think of any, let me know. I dare you.
Do you want a way that works?
What if that way is already right in front of you?
What kind of shift in your beliefs will lead you to do something about it and go make it work for you?
When you decide your next step, you may be inclined to approach your decision with the same beliefs you have already practiced. It's quite natural.
Your lower brain wants to be efficient and do what it knows.
Well, if it's not possible and won't work for me anyway, I probably shouldn't spend my money on this.
If you really want new results, for the next decision you make about stepping toward your goal, use a different approach.
Just pretend for a moment if you have to. Just enough to get you over the edge so that I can walk you through this process.
What would you decide if you knew it were possible to get the results you want?
What would you decide if you knew you could make it work for you?
If you make your decision from this kind of mindset, you will actually create something new for you.
If it's uncomfortable, that's probably a sign you are on the right track.
If it brings up doubts and insecurities, you've come up with a great goal.
All those doubts and insecurities are a spring board for where your real work begins. Thought work!
Keep it simple. Decide. Nobody gets to decide for you but you. This has always been the case.
Part of your brain wants to keep things the same. When you make a decision to rock the boat, it is likely your brain will freak out.
Nothing has gone wrong here.
If you choose the comfortable/stay-the-same route, you probably won't freak out.
To reach your goals, to change, to learn new skills, discomfort is part of the price. And it is so worth it!
Discomfort from intentional growth is way better than the discomfort of shying away from your true potential.
Want to try something new?
Find out more.