What if you just decided:
I'm not having it anymore. I'm done.
It's time to take the next seriously helpful step in overcoming my problem.
I'm tired of losing. It's time to win. I'll lose some games during the season, sure. But I'm playing for the championship. I can handle some hiccups along the way.
Is failing in the past, even numerous times, really a reason to stop? You might think it is, but I don't. I refuse to accept that idea.
Here's what I think: you are worth never giving up on. You can argue with me on it, but you're wrong. So back off!
And while we're at it, these 2 enemies can back off too!!!
There is a billion dollar porn industry that spends millions to propagate disempowering ideas to men that we "need" porn and we can't go without "sex" or control our urges.
Do you want to let them infiltrate your mind? Or do you want to access and cultivate your internal strength, power, pride?
Opt in to mind control? Or be the master of your own destiny?
The inner critical voice.
Some people like to credit Satan for ALL of this. But I think that gives him way too much credit and power.
This is set up for us to win over Satan. Did you forget?
Most of this inner critical voice is just thoughts/beliefs that we've picked up along the way and have allowed to persist. They exist in our brain, even apart from Satan.
You can change it. But if you've practiced it a lot, it will try to pop up and get in the drivers seat now and then.
It will try to hold you back from success. It will try to prevent you from pursuing your dreams. It will try to suffocate your unique abilities that only you have to offer this world.
A Response Proclamation.
I just read the book The Alter Ego Effect, by Todd Herman. I really recommend it. In it, he recommends coming up with a ground punch. A way to respond to your enemy, when your back is against the wall and say: "Enough!"
"It doesn’t matter how many wins you tuck under your belt. Your enemy is always going to try to stop your heroic moment."
He says that your enemy will often say something like: “who do you think you are?” This is where the response proclamation comes in.
A response proclamation is your response to the enemy. It highlights your grit, hustle, and achievements.
He recommends starting it out with the words: "Who am I? Who am I, do you ask? I’m the one who..." And then you go in to it.
Write it. Say it out loud. Practice it. Review it. Draw upon it.
I had an urge for porn last night. Here is my response to it.
"Who am I?! Who am I, do you ask? This urge doesn’t know who it’s dealing with. I’m Danny Poelman. I uplift and inspire people. I’m a pioneer in empowering men.
I’m not the guy you want to play against in basketball. I know how to win. I find ways to win. I was part of a national championship rugby team - twice.
I don't back down from anybody.
I stepped up to lead in high school. I stepped up to lead on my mission. I stepped up to lead the Elders Quorum in dental school. I stepped up to lead my dental office team from a startup to generating $40K in revenue per month in a year and half.
I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I went from PTSD (unable to leave the house, unable to sleep, suicidal) to healing/living/engaging and sleeping without medication (off all my meds now). To enjoying my life again. To looking forward to the future again. To building my own business.
I’m a kick-ass (pardon my French) husband and father and team mate.
I’m stepping up to lead men who want to beat porn.
To empower men to be the kind of man they want to be.
I'm stepping up to show future generations what's possible.
Life without porn is way better.
You don’t know who you’re dealing with. I don’t think I even know who I’m dealing with yet. This is my origin story and I’m still discovering my powers."
Now it's your turn to try it out. What is your Response Proclamation?
If you think your next seriously helpful step might be 1 on 1 coaching, let's talk.
This isn't for everybody. I don't coach every single person that does a consult with me. Let's find out if it's a good fit for you and me.