Embrace Negative Emotions and Transform Relationships
Feeling weighed down by negative emotions? Embrace them without judgment and transform your life. Watch video above. Click here and schedule a free consult call!
The Burnout Approach vs. The Wellbeing Way
The Burnout Approach over-utilizes hustle.
The Wellbeing Way sees hustle as a tool, and intentionally uses it at appropriate times along the way.
The Burnout Approach sees every task as a nail, and its hammer is “hustle.”
The Wellbeing Way uses different tools for different tasks at different moments.
The Burnout Approach says to complete the task to prove that you are worthy.
The Well-being way says to see that you are already worthy. And take powerful action, with conscious choice, authentically cultivating and expanding your desire.
The Burnout Approach says that productivity is the end goal.
The Wellbeing Way says to use productivity when it contributes to Wellbeing/Joy/Fulfillment.
The Burnout Approach sees the body’s need for rest and other bodily functions as obstacles.
The Wellbeing Way sees the body as one of your most important assets, and builds in to its schedule time to rest, strengthen, and nurture the body.
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Who I Am, Who I Help, & How I Help Them
My name is Danny Poelman.
I’m a Certified, Expert Life Coach.
I certified at the Life Coach School (with Brooke Castillo) right when the program was at its peak level of effectiveness (in my opinion).
I’m a husband and father of 3 kids.
My family and I have lived on the French Riviera for the last 6 years.
I love basketball, being in the sun/nature, and moving my body.
This year, lifting weights is my favorite, with running/biking/swimming in between.
My thinking/analyzing brain loves science-based processes.
I also love and value spirituality. I grew up Mormon and am no longer Mormon. Many (not all) of my clients have also been either Mormon or Post-mormon or something in between. I love coaching all the different nuanced people in between.
I get people who grew up in conservative, high-demand religions.
I continually find ways to open and expand my spirituality. I enjoy exploring and continually learning.
I’m a highly sensitive person...
Why I got into Life Coaching and Where I Went Wrong
...And how I'm fixing it.
click to view video message from me.
-Danny
What Lies is Your Brain Telling You Today?
Your automatic, unconscious brain plays re-runs of old beliefs throughout the day each day.
A belief is just a thought that has been played over and over.
Many of these thoughts are stories or ways of explaining what we’ve experienced in our past.
And our brain’s motive is always at least to help us survive.
But if you want to do more than survive (ie, thrive), then you’ll need to call out the lies being played in your automatic brain.
This works better one at a time, not all at once.
Identify one lie your brain is telling you today.
Say it out loud or write it down or both.
Ask gentle questions like,
“How does that thought feel?”
“is this really true?”
“Do I get to choose in this moment whether to continue buying in to that?”
Be light and playful with it, not forceful.
Be curious. Drop judgment.
Go slow, don’t rush.
Be willing to feel some uncomfortable feelings about it while your brain opens up to a...
When Trying to Motivate Yourself, Don't Do THIS!
When quitting an unwanted habit, or motivating yourself to reach a goal, don't use fear and hating on your current situation/behavior to motivate you.
Focus on creating something better for yourself.
Don't focus on building up in your mind how bad it is that you did that behavior again.
Focus on building your desire to better yourself and your life.
What takes you toward that.
Don't grow your hate for the current situation.
Instead, grow your desire for the better situation.
While accepting where you are at.
Next time you feel like giving in to an urge or quitting on your goal,
Repeat after me:
"There's something better for me."
Now stay curious, and find out what that is.
-Danny
I Don't Like Being Told Not to Talk About It
Disclosing my trauma: you know what I hated being told?
“Don’t talk about it.” “You’re being too sensitive.” “You’re overreacting.” “That doesn’t sound like as big a deal as you’re making it.”
Or the most heart-breaking one from a family member. “Don’t contact me anymore.” In other words, “if you’re going to talk about the abusive things this person did to you, I’m going to stop talking to you, but continue being around him (abuser).”
Almost felt like I was being blamed for the conflict that arose from this persons actions, just because I was talking about it.
It came to a point where I knew, even if I lost everyone important to me, I had to believe me. I had to make room for me to talk about it. I would not have survived it if I didn’t.
When I rejected my real experience, my body spoke up and my health suffered. When I believed and received myself, my body...
Reclaim Your Life: Break Free from People-Pleasing Now!
Fathers, Are You Feeling Trapped by People Pleasing Habits?
The 30-Day People-Pleasing Detox to Recover From Narcissistic Abuse (or to simply practice taking a break from people pleasing) offers you the tools to break free and reclaim your happiness.
My new mini-course teaches you how to build strong boundaries, enhance your self-worth, and regain control of your life.
Join us today and start your transformation.
Would You Rather Look at Porn or Feel Anxiety?
If your answer was “look at porn,” then… (read below)
As long as this is your rule of operating, you will continue to go back to your porn habit.
One of the biggest reasons behind an unwanted porn habit is that people want to escape/numb/avoid their uncomfortable feelings (like anxiety), and they use porn to do it. Usually along with other things.
Out of this following list of feelings, which one would you be willing to feel instead of view pornography?
Depressed, insecurity, Fear, Frustration, worry, impatience, shame, self-doubt, angry, impatient, lonely, unsupported, grief, sadness, confusion, overwhelm, an urge for porn.
Remember, if it feels difficult to feel a feeling (which is how so many of us have learned to do it, so don’t beat yourself up about it), the part that is the most difficult is the resistance we have to feeling that feeling.
Using and depleting willpower to resist feeling a feeling is the part that makes it feel so difficult. Not...
UNLOCK FREEDOM: END BAD HABITS IN JUST 90 DAYS!
ARE YOUR ACTIONS IN CONFLICT WITH YOUR FAITH?
IT'S TIME TO ALIGN.
START WITH OUR FREE TRANSFORMATIVE TRAINING
As a family man and a professional, your time is precious, and your integrity, paramount.
Our free video training isn’t just about quitting porn—it’s about mastering control over your life, enhancing your relationships, and setting a proud example.
Discover practical, transformative techniques that respect your busy schedule and support your family values.
Access the Free Video Training now to start a new chapter of confidence and connection!
Click here to access the FREE ON-DEMAND VIDEO TRAINING NOW.
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