My Life Already IS More Satisfying Than Porn, I Just Don't See it Yet.

Uncategorized May 01, 2020

People who want to want to stop (not a typo) looking at porn are often unsure about what life will be like without it.

What if life without porn is way worse?

What if I can't handle the stresses of life without it?

What if it ends up being a bunch of effort, money, and discomfort for something worse than what I have now?

What if I try and fail? I'll look stupid.

What if it's a waste of time?

Nothing Has Gone Wrong Here.

Our brains are designed to resist change. And our brains will find and even create evidence that something bad will happen if you make that change.

You have practiced thinking that you "need" porn so many times that it has become a belief.

When your brain thinks/believes something, it finds evidence to support it. Even if that thought is not true/rational/helpful.

What if the idea that you "need" porn is inaccurate?

What if it is just an irrational thought you bought in to one day?

What if you don't "need" porn at all? And never have "needed" it?

Is there a chance...

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Free Webinar Recording (w/ Q&A and a real person getting coached)

Uncategorized Apr 29, 2020
 

Free Webinar Recording: 4/8/20

Topic: How to start managing your mind and stop looking at porn

Duration: 1 hour

First minute: set up

0'55: welcome and intro

4'26: a story and teaching some concepts

20'25: Q&A and coaching participants

56'59: closing message, inspiring question

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It Worked So Well I Didn't Want to Do It

Uncategorized Apr 24, 2020

While going through the process of eliminating porn from my life. I created a 2-minute Brain-Changer for myself to review each day and when having urges, if needed.

Basically it consisted of a summary of all the Thought Work I had done (through self coaching and being coached). A summary of my most important thought work practice and insights into my own brain.

A powerful tool!

Too Powerful

I remember having an urge at one point and thinking about reading over my brain changer. But part of me didn't want to.

I thought to myself, "I don't want to read that, because then I won't want to look at porn right now."

I noticed this thinking and laughed to myself. It makes me laugh to look back at it now.

I realized that I knew it worked in this backward sort of way.

The point is: Thought Work, the Model, and coaching work.

Hand it Over

You may be saying, "Well then, Danny, give me your 2-minute Brain Changer" so I can use it to stop looking at porn.

My 2-minute Brain Changer wouldn't help...

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Honing Your Decision-Making Skills (an exercise included)

Uncategorized Apr 17, 2020

Indecision leads to inaction.

While we think we are avoiding making a decision, we are actually deciding not to decide which is a decision in and of itself.

If you think you are avoiding making a decision, you are wrong. What you are doing is deciding not to decide.

Deciding is one of the most powerful things we do. It is where all of our power actually starts.

To change requires power.

To create something new requires power.

“Most failures are one-time costs. Most regrets are recurring costs. The pain of inaction stings longer than the pain of incorrect action.” -James Clear

“Choosing what to do is a lot more powerful than studying what to do.”  -Brooke Castillo

Decision fatigue

Will power is a limited resource in your brain.

Leaving a decision undecided actually drains your will power.

Going back and forth and renegotiating with yourself drains willpower.

Unfinished/unplanned tasks also drain will power. 

To Conserve Will Power

Constrain,...

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Don't Prove You Can Do It. Decide You Can.

Uncategorized Mar 16, 2020

I thought I had to prove myself.

If I go (X amount of time) without porn, then I'll know I can do it.

What I wanted was to feel confident and capable.

Most things we do are because of how we think it will make us feel.

It sounds so great, right?

I'm going to prove that I can do it!

But hiding in this thought is the idea that maybe I'm not sure I can do it yet.

Evidence Finding Machine

The brain is an evidence-finding machine. So what kind of fuel am I going to put in it?

Last year, we put unleaded gas in our diesel European rental car. The car didn't make it further than a block or two before shutting down.

It matters even more what kind of gas you put in your brain.

The gas is your thoughts.

Beliefs are just thoughts we repeat over and over.

The Wrong Gas Sometimes Seems So Right

If I give my brain the idea: maybe I can't do it. Even if it's packaged so nicely in a thought like I'm going to prove that I can do it!  My brain will look for evidence that maybe I can't...

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