...And how I'm fixing it.
click to view video message from me.
-Danny
Your automatic, unconscious brain plays re-runs of old beliefs throughout the day each day.
A belief is just a thought that has been played over and over.
Many of these thoughts are stories or ways of explaining what we’ve experienced in our past.
And our brain’s motive is always at least to help us survive.
But if you want to do more than survive (ie, thrive), then you’ll need to call out the lies being played in your automatic brain.
This works better one at a time, not all at once.
Identify one lie your brain is telling you today.
Say it out loud or write it down or both.
Ask gentle questions like,
“How does that thought feel?”
“is this really true?”
“Do I get to choose in this moment whether to continue buying in to that?”
Be light and playful with it, not forceful.
Be curious. Drop judgment.
Go slow, don’t rush.
Be willing to feel some uncomfortable feelings about it while your brain opens up to a...
When quitting an unwanted habit, or motivating yourself to reach a goal, don't use fear and hating on your current situation/behavior to motivate you.
Focus on creating something better for yourself.
Don't focus on building up in your mind how bad it is that you did that behavior again.
Focus on building your desire to better yourself and your life.
What takes you toward that.
Don't grow your hate for the current situation.
Instead, grow your desire for the better situation.
While accepting where you are at.
Next time you feel like giving in to an urge or quitting on your goal,
Repeat after me:
"There's something better for me."
Now stay curious, and find out what that is.
-Danny
Disclosing my trauma: you know what I hated being told?
“Don’t talk about it.” “You’re being too sensitive.” “You’re overreacting.” “That doesn’t sound like as big a deal as you’re making it.”
Or the most heart-breaking one from a family member. “Don’t contact me anymore.” In other words, “if you’re going to talk about the abusive things this person did to you, I’m going to stop talking to you, but continue being around him (abuser).”
Almost felt like I was being blamed for the conflict that arose from this persons actions, just because I was talking about it.
It came to a point where I knew, even if I lost everyone important to me, I had to believe me. I had to make room for me to talk about it. I would not have survived it if I didn’t.
When I rejected my real experience, my body spoke up and my health suffered. When I believed and received myself, my body...
The 30-Day People-Pleasing Detox to Recover From Narcissistic Abuse (or to simply practice taking a break from people pleasing) offers you the tools to break free and reclaim your happiness.
My new mini-course teaches you how to build strong boundaries, enhance your self-worth, and regain control of your life.
Join us today and start your transformation.
If your answer was “look at porn,” then… (read below)
As long as this is your rule of operating, you will continue to go back to your porn habit.
One of the biggest reasons behind an unwanted porn habit is that people want to escape/numb/avoid their uncomfortable feelings (like anxiety), and they use porn to do it. Usually along with other things.
Out of this following list of feelings, which one would you be willing to feel instead of view pornography?
Depressed, insecurity, Fear, Frustration, worry, impatience, shame, self-doubt, angry, impatient, lonely, unsupported, grief, sadness, confusion, overwhelm, an urge for porn.
Remember, if it feels difficult to feel a feeling (which is how so many of us have learned to do it, so don’t beat yourself up about it), the part that is the most difficult is the resistance we have to feeling that feeling.
Using and depleting willpower to resist feeling a feeling is the part that makes it feel so difficult. Not...
As a family man and a professional, your time is precious, and your integrity, paramount.
Our free video training isn’t just about quitting porn—it’s about mastering control over your life, enhancing your relationships, and setting a proud example.
Discover practical, transformative techniques that respect your busy schedule and support your family values.
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Think of one of your most important goals, or desires, right now.
Something you want:
Got it in your mind?
Now I want to ask you:
How much time do you spend worrying about this goal? (Answer in a percentage over a period of time. For example, one person’s response may be: “40% of the time over the last 2 weeks.”)
NOTE: If your answer is that you worry 0% of the time. And, if you are already in a state of
If you are a “yes” for these things I just listed, you can skip the remaining part of this email and rest assured that what you want is coming your way, in a way better than you can imagine. Just keep going.
Because your inner state of being affects your outer reality. If you don’t believe in unseen powers...
Access the FREE Masterclass Now:
“How to Be Free From Pornography For Good without Willpower, Streak Counting, or Shame/Fear Tactics.”
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This is the most free value I have given out for free in any one class/video.
Don't miss it.
Overusing pornography has to do with buffering.
Buffering is to use something external to try to change how we feel internally. In other words, trying to escape uncomfortable feelings.
It’s the perfect solution for an overstimulated society.
Many of us live inside a disregulated body and a racing mind. This is the result of compounding stress and trauma that leads to overstimulation.
Our culture doesn’t understand the nervous system. This just becomes our normal.
A majority of adults didn’t learn how to self soothe.
Self soothing is learned in our developmental years.
These developmental years play the groundwork for how we cope with uncomfortable emotions and stress as adults.
Porn becomes a normalized way of coping because it:
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